Blogging about no progress

Back in May (the 8th to be exact) I blogged about how news had come that we would likely not here any news until Nativeland tours were over .  Here we are a little over a month later and that’s still the case.  I feel bad blogging about how much waiting sucks – especially since most of my lovely readers are also APs and PAPs who have been waiting nearly as long (and some cases, even longer).  Today marks 646 days since we first requested to be King’s parents.  646 days and no hugs or kisses to show for it.

I’ve been trying really hard not to dwell and have done my best to fill our summer with events to keep me busy until August, when the obsessing can officially begin again.  The kids will be doing summer school programs, we have 2 trips to the beach planned, Hubs and I have 2 overnighter motorcycle trips already planned out….and I’m teaching a full schedule since our school is year ’round.  No summers off for this gal.  My goal for the whole year has been to read 25 books (trust me, that’s at huge uptick from years past) and according to my GoodReads ticker, I’m 13% ahead of the game.  Yay me.  Maybe I’ll finish by the end of the summer.  I’ve also just started a photography workshop that may get me out of this artistic rut I’ve been in…..although I’m not sure the rut is artistic in nature at all.

Let’s face it, to be honest I still hold out a glimmer of hope.  I still check my email over and over every morning until 11a when I am sure that the day’s hopes are dashed.  I still wake up every morning and think, “maybe this really is the day.”  I still get giddy on Sunday nights because a new week is full of 5 more “maybe today!”‘s.  I still torture myself in the evenings by looking at pictures of him and watching the videos we have of him over and over.

Most of the time to make myself feel better I have to play the “but at least” game.  For example:

We have been waiting 646 days, but at least, we have over 300 photos and videos of him that we’ve found on blogs and sites.  It doesn’t make the waiting feel good but it makes it bearable.

This game is how I feel better about a lot of things that some people could boo-hoo over when they’re feeling down.  Another example:

I am getting paid less than a public school teacher and I have to work through the summer, but at least, I have a job.   Other teachers I know are packing up their classrooms today not knowing whether or not they’ll have a job come fall.

I could do these all night, but the point is, as down and out as some of my blog posts may be lately, I hope you all know that I do realize all the blessings we have.  To be honest, I really didn’t have much to say tonight, I just wanted to check in, but I feel like I got a little heavy there for a minute.  To lighten it up a little I will leave you with this, which I stole from my friend Michelle:  (warning, please don’t click on it if you’re sensitive to language!)

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  1. Rhonda

    OMG, I’m totally insulted by that language! Oh my stars! 😉

  2. Stephanie

    My heart breaks for you :(

  3. Michelle

    I love that saying. I would put it on my FB page if my tea bag relatives wouldn’t freak the hell out.

    Waiting is hard. I wish for you not to have to wait much longer.

  4. Jen T.

    Geez, waiting sucks. I totally can relate with Monday morning excitement because there’s five whole days of office hours full of maybe’s. King has already captured all of our hearts in a special way and there will be some SERIOUS rejoicing when we get him home! Heck, I’ll buy you a drink when you get travel approval! 646 day is TOO LONG.

    • Brenda

      Hi Coley, Any updates? I’ve been thinking about you…each and every day. I am hoping that you have or will receive some news very soon. Best wishes, Brenda

  5. Tara

    Just found your blog and wanted to encourage you. We just brought our son home from Thailand on June 11. We picked him up at the orphanage June 2, two months ago tomorrow! We waited 901 days from the day we first saw his file until travel. At times I was overwhelmed with grief and/or anger and helplessness. You sound as if you are doing very well with the wait. Thailand is an amazing country, we had a wonderful time and fell in love with our guide and the people we met. I wish you the best as you wait for your son, our son is learning English at an amazing speed and is settling in so well!
    God Bless you as you wait. I’m sure you know plenty of other families who are or have adopted from Thailand but if I can help you with
    anything please let me know!

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