My life overrun with spam. 25 emails this morning, 20 of them spam – and of the 5 I thought were good, 3 of them were notices of spam comments on my blog.

Keep your fingers crossed

In early January we were told that King’s “child history” was completed and sent to the capital for approval – this is what we had waited 15+ months for. (Once the document is approved and sent to us, we will sign off on it and he will officially be matched in the eyes of their officials.) In January we were riding a high but as the months have passed, we started to wonder what was happening with things. Many emails later we finally heard last week that his file had been reviewed but then was promptly returned to the social-worker for an update….. dang, SO CLOSE! Good news though – the update was completed the same day! And the file was sent back to the capital. We’ve heard that it could be as little as 1-2 weeks for capital approval, or, more realistically, 1-2 months. Please keep your fingers crossed that it’s sooner, rather than later! We received some new photos and I have the perfect one to use when we get that approval! I’d love to show it to you!

10/52: Mom of the Year Award*

*The sarcastic kind, not the real kind.

This week was a landmark week for Dee – he went on his first sleepover!  And lasted the whole night at his friend’s house!

Several weeks ago we added a “kids” phone to our family plan for occasions just like this one.  I felt confident that if he needed me while he was over at his friend’s house, he’d call.  Being that it was his first sleepover, I expected that he’d make it until around 10pm.  Thinking I had a couple more hours, I got into the shower.  Check out what I found on my caller ID when I got out:

I missed 7 calls from him.  SEVEN.  Oi!  Mom of the year fail!  Thankfully I got ahold of him at about 8:25pm and we were able to talk him down from wanting to come home.  We only had to do that 3 more times (including once at 5am) but by 8am, they were having so much fun that he didn’t want to come home at 10:30am when we finally went to pick him up.  In fact, his friend came over for several hours at that point.  We were so proud of him for powering through it and not letting little things make him want to stomp off home (or at least for listening to reason when he tried.)

A post in which I catch up on missing Project 52 photos

8/52:  Snow Day:

Last summer it was mild.  Really mild.  We had something like 2 days over 100* when really, we’re used to slightly more than that.  Because of the mild summer, I swore that we would have an eventful winter – you know, to make up for it.  Unlike most places around the US, we have been very disappointed this winter.  At least up until the very end of February.  While everyone else has been looking forward to the beginnings of spring, our weather man surprised us with a dusting of what he predicted would be 3-4″ and ended up being 1″….at the most.  Still, the kids were beside themselves and we all got a snow day – on a Wednesday.

First thing they did – invite the neighbor kids over for a snowball fight:

The kids all got together and built a snow man but as the temperature started to climb above freezing (couldda fooled me!), it quickly started to melt.  I wanted to quickly take a photo of my kids all around the snowman but as soon as any of us got near it, the head fell off.  Sissy took that cue and bolted for the neighbors house (to play Polly Pocket) so I got a photo of my remaining two that looked like this:

Yes, that’s her head pretending to be the snowman head.

Needless to say, she came in because she was a wee-bit cold.  Notice the red cheeks and hands:

Frostbitten!

By noon, the snow was gone.  :-(

9/52:  Sick Day:

Like most of America, we’re sick!  I’ve taken naps almost every day this week, slept in on Friday, and fell asleep watching MegaMind with the kids yesterday.  Every morning this week we’ve woken up with a child in our bed.  This morning it was Lolee:

This photo sums up our weekly feelings.

Adoption in 5 stages

Are you familiar with the Kübler-Ross model of the stages of grief?  I’m sure you’ve heard of them, they’re the stereotypical 5-stages that are outlined to include:

1) Denial

2) Anger

3) Bargaining

4) Depression

5) Acceptance

While these stages are usually used to describe the way people deal with serious life events like death and dying, I see myself in these bullet-points as we’ve waded throughout this long and tiresome adoption process.

When we first started the adoption I was thick in Denial.  When we first saw King’s face on the agency waitlist I was struck with him and for weeks I couldn’t get him out of my head.  I had half a dozen photos and in each one his mischievous little smirk told me that he would fit well in among our wild brood.  I told our agency’s coordinator that we felt he was meant to be ours.  She tried to entourage us to took at a few of the other boys because she knew that King’s file could possibly be difficult to gather and it would be a long wait for us – possibly up to 12 months before we could travel (keep in mind our dossier was already totally completed at this point and all of the necessary approvals on our end had already been received.)  I shrugged off the idea of a 12 month wait listing off in my mind all the things I had on my to-do list anyway…..besides, I figured, she says 12 months but I bet we’ll be ready to travel by summer time (9 months later) and she’ll remark and how surprised she is that things moved so quickly.

11 months later I started to get mad.  (Stage 2 – Anger)  Our dossier was set to expire soon (they’re only good for about 15 months) and not only were we not traveling at 12 months time, but we hadn’t even been officially given King’s referral (the result of a completed child history, which we were also still waiting on.)  I knew that historically after referrals are received it’s about 4-6 months until travel is expected so at this rate, it would be a minimum of 17+ months total time – longer than the 9-12 months I had been expecting thanks to Stage #1. I didn’t want to talk about the adoption with anyone.  When people would ask me, “So when exactly are you guys going to Thailand?”  I’d reply with an angry grunt and snort out a pained, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Month 14 arrived and I had a new project – the approvals contained within our dossier were going to expire and I needed to get all of our stuff together to apply for renewals.  I had renewed vigor.  Finally this was something I could do and I was sure that it was the thing our whole process was resting on.  Dee couldn’t be born until we had a name picked out for him and King’s paperwork couldn’t be finished until we were totally ready to go.  This was my way of working through #3 – Bargaining – but it was short lived.

Of course once our paperwork was complete and fully updated (somewhere around month 15) and once again I didn’t have any thing to actively contribute to the process any longer, there was still no movement.  This is where #4 crept in – Depression.  A short burst of happiness broke through early on when we heard that his child history document had been completed but it dissipated as the weeks and weeks went on with the expectation that everyday could be “the day” only to be disappointing when 11am rolled around and we hadn’t heard from our agency.  I’d come to dread weekends.  Not because I hate having free time, or hate not being at work, but because it was 2 days straight that there was no hope of hearing any good news.  I was sad.  Just plain sad.

Then came last week.  I felt like finally I had some sense of normalcy.  I was happily in stage #5 – Acceptance.  I felt like I could take a back seat and just let the sea of things to come take me along for the ride.  Boy was that short lived.   Word started coming in from other waiting families that we knew – families that had previously had similiar timelines to ours – families had received child histories and official referrals and were now also hearing that they were traveling in the next couple of months.  I was torn between feeling so excited for the families and feeling as though we are being left behind.  Everyday we don’t receive his accepted child history the gap gets wider and I find myself teetering between stages #4 and #5.  Sometimes more than once in a single day!  This adoption is making me bi-polar!  Our poor agency coordinator has to listen to me rant about it this week.  Thankfully she took it in stride and told me that she understood and that she would do her best to save my sanity.  Oh boy will that be a feat and a half.

Here is where the delicate nature of blogging comes in – do I blog about all my whiny feelings in an effort to be authentic (after all, this is my blog and I am here to blog about the adoption process), or do I spare you guys from my every annoying mood swing and just blog about the happy things, the progress made, and the end result?  That’s a rhetorical question, of course, because this is where I tell you that there is no news.  The rumor I eluded to true several months ago is still perceived to be true but it is stalled there.  I’ve tried not to blog much about the process in some strange hope that staying silent will make things happen sooner (there I am back to stage #3 again!)  But we can all see how that’s going.  I will tell you, dear readers, the same thing I told our adoption coordinator – I apologize now and in advance for my crazy rantings.

Crossing things off

This week we’ve reached 3 accomplishments that we have been working on since mid-December:

1)  The Hubs and I have watched all 9 seasons of The X-Files and we will complete the final movie this week.  There were some nights that we were doing 3-4 episodes a night after the kids were in bed, and one in the afternoon because Dee has a thing for aliens and FBI agents.

2)  We had a snow day!  We’ve been teased with that all year and this week, we finally got to stay home in the middle of the week (even if the snow was melted by lunch time – I’m still counting it!!)  The kids made a lame-o snowman with ALL the snow in the yard with the help of the neighborhood kids.  I tried to take a photo of it with the kids next to it but Dee put one hand on it and the head fell off.  I didn’t get a photo of it but it DID exist.  I swear.

3)  Spring cleaning has started and the infamous corner in our house that has always been the catch-all area is finally clear.  I hope I can say this time next week that it’s still clean.  But I’m not expecting too much.

(See how boring my non-adoption posts are??  I’ve started reading Post Adoption Blues again before the post adoption part has even started just because I have a feeling the let-down of emotions this time is going to be even harder than it was last time.)

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